


All Eighth Graders are Idiots

by LesbeanLatte



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Family Bonding, Family Feels, Father Figures, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Gen, No Incest, One-Shot, a scene from beth's childhood, beth as a child, eighth grade beth, father daughter bonding, i like to think rick is used to helping beth hide bodies by now, i tried to keep this in character, psychopath beth, the abcs of beth, the abcs of beth gave me a lot of ideas okay, tommy lipkip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesbeanLatte/pseuds/LesbeanLatte
Summary: Beth has trouble controlling some of her more sinister urges.A snippet from Beth's childhood.





	All Eighth Graders are Idiots

The idiot wouldn’t leave her alone. 

He was BEGGING to die. He had to be. That was the only logical explanation for his behavior. 

Of course, all eighth graders were idiots according to Dad, and Beth had to agree. Beth always kind of assumed Dad wasn’t talking about her when he called all eighth graders idiots, even if he never specified as much. A lot of times, things went without saying with him, and if you tried to get him to say them, you ended up with a pissed off, drunk scientist. 

Donny Dingleberry seemed especially idiotic to Beth, even for an eighth grader. 

Beth clenched her teeth. She tried to remember what Dr. Wong always said: “no one is begging to die, Beth, that’s all in your head. Ask yourself why you have these thoughts.” She couldn’t exactly help it if she mocked Dr. Wong’s voice in her head. 

It was so annoying that her mom had won the argument over taking her to therapy. Of all the arguments for Mom to win when Dad won at least ninety percent of the arguments in the Sanchez household it had to be that one. Beth sighed. 

“Hey! Hey, freak!” 

That was it. Beth’s hands formed reflexive fists as she turned around, her right hand clenching the small item in her hoodie pocket. She was about a block from home. Mom and Dad were waiting. Mom’s famous flying saucer shaped pancakes (which were actually just regular shaped pancakes she called flying saucers to impress her ever distracted husband) were probably hot and ready. All Beth had to do was keep walking. 

She turned around. 

“What?” she asked. 

Donny Dingleberry was the kind of asshole who always wore button up shirts and sneakers so white they hurt to look at. “How’s Tommy?” Donny asked. Beth gritted her teeth and dug her nails into her palm. 

“Who?” Beth asked, playing dumb. 

“I haven’t seen my boy Tommy Lipkip in a few days.” Pause. “You were the last person to hang out with him after school. Maybe even the last person to see him.” 

His boy. That was laughable. It wasn’t like Donny and Tommy had been bestest friends. The closest to male bonding Beth had seen the two of them engage in was Donny slamming Tommy into a locker. 

“Bye Donny,” Beth said. 

She felt good. She was doing what Dr. Wong recommended and ignoring her darker urges. Mom would be so proud. 

She was just starting to walk home, fantasizing about getting to Mom’s flying saucer pancakes before they hit that point where the syrup sunk into them and turned them into soggy pieces of shit, when Donny said something else. 

“I bet you and your freak dad have him locked up in the garage. You probably do creepy experiments on him. God knows what you weirdos get up to in there.” 

He was such an idiot. He couldn’t just keep his stupid idiot mouth shut. 

Beth spun around on her heel. Her face felt hot, and her heart was pounding, but she wasn’t just mad. She was also excited. She hated to admit it, but part of her had definitely been hoping Donny would be stupid enough to say something else to piss her off. 

She looked around. The universe was clearly telling her something by making sure the street was empty at that exact moment on a sunny afternoon. She knew her dad would crack up if she ever brought up the possibility of the universe trying to tell her things, so she shoved that thought away. It was stupid, and Beth might be a freak, but she sure as hell wasn’t stupid. The street was empty and no one seemed to be looking out their windows, and that definitely was convenient if nothing else. 

Beth reached into her pocked and pulled out the laser light her dad had given her. It was a little flashlight that projected a red dot, the kind cats played with. She grinned, aiming it at the sidewalk in front of Donny so the red dot was a few inches from his foot.

“Hey Donny,” she said. “I dare you to step on the red dot.” 

“Some dare,” Donny laughed, before stepping on it. 

As soon as the red dot touched his bright white sneaker, Donny screamed in pain and toppled over, grabbing at his foot, or rather the place his foot had been. His ankle was gushing blood all over the sidewalk and where his foot had been an instant before was a pile of ash. 

Technically, he’d stepped there on a dare so Beth couldn’t be blamed. 

“You crazy bitch!” Donny screamed. “You burned off my foot you crazy fucking b-”

Before he could finish, the red dot was aimed directly into his mouth. Donny Dingleberry let out a final scream of agony as his lungs caught fire, and a minute later, his headless, footless corpse was laying on the sidewalk in a pile of blood and ash. 

Beth bit at her lip, staring at her handiwork. Okay, it was fascinating but also maybe she hadn’t thought this through. This was a lot of blood.

Luckily, she didn’t have to go back and forth on what to do for long because there was a swirling green mass of light in front of her and a second later Dad’s spaceship was parked in the middle of the street. 

Rick Sanchez stepped out of the spaceship, gave Beth a look that said all too clearly ‘disappointed but not surprised,’ and pulled a contraption similar to his portal gun but different from his lab coat pocket. He hit a few buttons. 

At first, Beth thought nothing happened. Then, she looked up and realized that the birds that had been fluttering above her were frozen in midair. A dog across the street had its leg raised next to a fire hydrant, and the pee was frozen in a stream on its way to the hydrant. 

“What did you do?” she asked. 

“I think that’s obvious,” Dad said, rolling his eyes. “I fr-URP-oze time. The real question is what the hell did YOU do?” He took a sip from his flash before stowing it as well as the time freezing contraption back in his lab coat. 

“Donny is so annoying Dad,” Beth said in her sweetest voice, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

Dad rolled his eyes again. “Is this the one that was always farting in your locker?” 

“No.” 

“The one that was always trying to copy you on quizzes?”

“No.” 

“The one that was always sending you crappy love poems and leaving melted Coldstone Creamery ice cream in your locker because that guy is the most idiotic-”

“No it’s not Jerry, Dad. Jerry’s okay, actually. He didn’t know the ice cream would melt so fast.” 

“Whatever, you say,” Rick grumbled. “Alright, grab his legs, I’ve got his arms.” 

Rick was already in the process of lifting Donny into the spacecraft grumbling something about ‘didn’t know ice cream would melt, doesn’t sound okay to me.’ 

Beth grabbed Donny’s ankles, fascinated by the foot-less ankle and the blood oozing from it. The bone was starting to peak out. Beth thought about asking her dad if she could keep the body to study but he looked pretty put out so she thought better of it. 

Together they heaved the body into the spacecraft. 

Beth climbed into the passenger seat and her dad climbed into the driver’s seat and hit a few coordinates on his portal gun before flying the spaceship into the swirling green portal. 

“Let’s make this qu-URP-ick,” Dad said. “I don’t want to leave time frozen too long but I also don’t want to get home too late. Your mom’s pancakes are at that critical point right before the syrup soaks into them and turns them into soggy pieces of shit.” 

He stopped the spaceship in midair and Beth opened the side door. She shoved Donny’s body into space with a hint of regret that she’d never get to know what his insides looked like.


End file.
